Cramp Cure – Carrot Juice

carrot juice

Fair Warning! – Boys, Look away! We are talking about lady problems in this post!

Dear readers, I really really hope that you aren’t like me in the uterus department. When it comes to ‘that time of the month’ my cramps are often so bad that I am literally bent over the toilet vomiting from a bout of abdominal pain so severe that I want nothing more than to scoop my uterus out with a dull shovel.

I’ve tried plenty of remedies in the past: cutting back on coffee before and during my periods; drinking raspberry leaf tea; I even waged war against the use of tampons and went lady diaper only for well over a year. For the longest time my best hope in the fight against my own personal monthly hell was to hope that I would feel the first wave of cramps coming early enough to swallow 3-5 ibuprofen and pray that some of the pills would manage to get far enough through my system that when I did eventually begin to vomit, they would be digested enough to give me a minimal level of comfort.

I’m not sure where I originally heard about carrot juice as a cramp remedy, but this past month I was breezing through the organic isle of my local Publix and my eyes fell on a large glass container of the orange stuff. My period wasn’t due for another week, but I figured it was worth a shot. If worse came to worse I would only be out roughly $5. So I tossed the jar into my cart and went about my shopping.

Flash forward a week and some change, and I feel the first wave of cramps roll over me like the four horsemen of the uterus apocalypse. In the midst of groaning and shoving my usual 4 ibuprofen into my mouth and fishing my hot/cold pack out of the refrigerator, my eyes landed on the large container of pureed vegetable matter that had been sitting on the bottom shelf for the past week. I went ahead and grabbed the jar and tried to remember exactly what I had read about the remedy as I attempted to open the vacuum sealed lid: ‘Was there a certain amount of this stuff that I have to drink? Is this some kind of Wiccan cramp cure? Do I take it with Vodka?’

I dumped the contents into a glass and eyed the colorful orange and lighter orange swirls with suspicion. It did not look tasty. It looked like a leftover cup from a 5 year old’s art class where the painting subject had been a giant… well, carrot. I slowly lifted the glass and took a sip. UGH! It smelled like where seawater went to die.

This crap must be the healthiest drink in the world.’ I thought to myself. ‘Isn’t that how these things work? The nastier they are the more healthy they are, and the tastier they are the worse they are for you?’

I did eventually drink the godawful liquid, and while I will say that it tasted absolutely horrid (and was immediately followed by what my loving boyfriend has dubbed ‘the icky dance’). I wish I could say that the juice did not work, unfortunately it actually worked wonders. I have had absolutely no cramps since I started drinking it earlier this week.

This does; however, mean that it is the only sure-fire way for me to keep from having cramps so bad I vomit in the future.

I really don’t know which is the worse alternative.

Long Story Short: Carrot Juice is my magical cramp cure; however, it tastes like death. FML.

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  • This bright orange cocktail is electric! There are two stars of this Home Happy Hour Show: fresh carrot juice and tasty tasty bourbon.

  • Dull shovel.. got it.. I mean carrots, carrots!

    I don’t see why you’d have the boy-disclaimer, nothing wins more cuddles than bringing the solutions.

    • It was more for if my male family members/friends started to read the article, they tend to scream whenever women talk about their monthly visitor.

      And there are some guys who are just terrified of that stuff in general. XD

      • .. and then there are the guys that get sympathy cramps. ><

  • Dion Z. Stevenson

    I suffer leg, feet, hand and abdominal-muscle cramps worst when I sit in the sauna excessively–over 45 minutes daily. I’ve tried other things that work, such as avocados sprinkled with potassium chloride, but the most surprising thing is lemon juice. Yesterday I sat in the sauna for hours. I sweated for three hours, though, coming out to take breaks and re-entering. I wanted to get rid of excessive salt in my body. I hadn’t been to the sauna in a few months, so I was dreading the return of muscle cramps. But that day I’d happened to have begun a large uptake of lemon juice. And I didn’t cramp that night. My hand cramped a little at the sauna, though, but quickly released. Today I sweat another three hours with no cramping whatsoever. However, when I awoke from a 3-hour nap, my legs muscles were vibrating as if they wanted to cramp. I drank some more lemon juice, and they quit. I’m talking many cups of lemon juice here, although I didn’t measure. So as not to feel queasy after drinking the lemon juice, I topped it off with lemon/pineapple juice. Then, at the sauna, I drank 1&3/4 – 2 quarts of cucumber juice. When I lay down in the sauna and on the benches outside, I felt no burning in my esophagus from the lemon juice. Anyway, I haven’t cramped, and I don’t know why.

    • I haven’t read any studies on lemon juice and muscle cramps personally, but I’m glad that this seems to be working for you! As far as the Sauna, you really shouldn’t spend that much time in one unless you are trying to cut down water weight for a short period of time. If you want to flush salt out of your system, your best bet is to just drink a lot of water. I drink somewhere between 67.6 fluid oz to 101.4 fluid oz. per day. (It sounds like a lot, but it is really just three smart water bottles that I refill with tap water throughout the day.) This keeps my salt levels down and helps me avoid bloating.