Please Keep In Mind: I am not attempting to defend anyone in this post, I am merely trying to give answers to repeated questions that I am seeing through various social media accounts that I have.
Due to more than a few interesting posts, articles, tumblr “reports”, and reddit crap, and twitter tweets in the last two days that have figuratively flown out of my monitor, grabbed me by the shoulders and shaken me until I am suffering from whiplash, I finally decided it would be fun to use all of the information that I have gathered during my attempt to understand the man behind the newly infamous website known as: “Goverments Get Girlfriends: On involuntary celibacy and the need of government to solve it.” to answer many of the questions that I keep seeing asked over and over all over the internet.
Question 1: What is an Incel?
Incel is the abbreviation or colloquial term for “Involuntary celibate” or “Involuntary Celibacy”. According to a group of researchers from Georgia State University an Incel is: “[some]one who desires to have sex, but has been unable to find a willing partner for at least 6 months…” Involuntary celibates differ from those who identify as Asexual or those who are voluntarily celibate as they are not making a conscious decision to refrain from sexual intercourse or relationships in general.
Question 2: But the term “Incel” Makes it sound like a lifestyle choice, such as being Abstinent for religious reasons.
Unfortunately no, “Incel” is not a lifestyle choice, but a bi-product of one or more other issues that can lead to someone being celibate despite their personal desires for a relationship or sexual partner. This is why it is referred to as being an Involuntary Celibate.
Often there are one or more factors that the Incel alone has little to no control over that can lead to involuntary celibacy. Factors such as physical appearance and low self-esteem, psychological issues, love shyness, or an irrational fear of the opposite sex can lead to involuntary celibacy.
Question 3: Are all Incels Male Rights Activists (MRAs) and women haters?
No. While there are some Incel men who do blame women for not being attracted to them, there are many Incel men who take ownership over their psychological or physical problems (if that is what is leading to their celibacy) that they need to personally work on in order to function in a romantic or sexual relationship should they find one.
During my research I found several blogs and forum posts where Incel men would calmly ask women they went on dates with that turned out to be flops (not resulting in a subsequent date) why the woman did not wish to see them again, and actively searched for feedback as to what they were doing wrong, or if they (the Incels in question) appeared threatening, or were “coming on too strong”, these Incels were happy to receive constructive criticism and held no ill will whatsoever towards these women, if anything they appeared to be thankful towards them.
Question 4: What is GovernmentsGetGirlfriends’ (GGG) deal? Why Does he hate women?
GGC introduces himself as himself as: “… a fucked up kid from somewhere in Europe.” In posts within his blog he identifies as an Involuntary Celibate, and suicidal. He also identified in the past as someone who suffered from love shyness, but overcame this hurtle in 2011. His goal is to spread awareness regarding Involuntary Celibacy, and to create a government sponsored program to help Incels find sexual or romantic partners.
Question 5: Why Does GGG hate women?
While I cannot say that I understand the mind or the inner workings of GGG, I have found that when approached with an open mind, he is actually quite calm and understanding. While our first exchange of words were quite heated, (which I claim full responsibility for) after I wrote this FAQ he was more than helpful in helping clarify one or two points that I had gotten wrong.
Originally this question had to be answered based on opinions that I had created after reading the vast majority of his blog and the comment threads for each post. Because of his helpful input, the answer to this question has been expanded. You can read my original opinion and thoughts, followed by GGG’s clarification below.
Katherine’s Impression #1:
While GGG did say he was anti-feminist on his about me page, and did make some comments that made it appear as though he were planning to stalk a woman who decided not to date him without giving him a reason why, and making some other disturbing remarks throughout his blog, I do not believe he literally hates all women. I believe he is frustrated with women who do not have any desire to have sex with him.
GGG’s Response to #1:
While it is true that I don’t hate all women (I hate evil people of both genders) I am not just frustrated by women who don’t have any desire to have sex with me. I am frustrated by my general inexperience and inability to find a partner for a romantic relationship.
Katherine’s Impression #2:
I believe that he is angry at feminists because he is constantly being attacked by them.
GGG’s Response to #2:
“Feminists have indeed made attacks on me. However, this is not what made me hate feminism. Feminist have made those poorly though out attacks misconstruing my position exactly because they are vile people. And even if they didn’t attack me at all feminism would still be an evil, misandric ideology followed religiously by TAC.”
Why are these clarifications from GGG important? His clarification on point 1 is incredibly important because it shows that GGG does in fact take ownership of the fact that he is an Incel, he states quite clearly that he is frustrated with himself. This is important as most people who are attacking GGG are jumping to the conclusion that he is blaming all women in the world for his current involuntary celibacy. Yes, he does say that he is frustrated with women; however, frustration and hate are two very different things, while it is true that both of these things exist on a sliding scale, it is important to remember that he is not seeing all women as vaginas with legs and are only worthy of contempt.
He also explains his rationale behind his hatred of feminism and TAC (The Atheist Cult). While I disagree with the fact that he is lumping all feminists together under one banner, it is an unfortunate truth that the most insane members of either side of the debate are usually the ones who speak the loudest and most often, sadly this tends to squeeze out those of us who hold the middle ground and keep us from being heard. While I certainly do not agree with his stance that feminists and Atheists are evil vile creatures, when one considers the sheer number of hate related messages and harassment that he receives on a regular basis from members of both parties on a daily basis, it is not that hard to understand why he would come to hate an entire group of people.
Question 6: His blog is being hosted on WordPress.com! They should kill his site!!!
That is not how freedom speech/press works. As long as he is not making threats against anyone, or committing libel or slander (which can only be addressed after something has been published) then he has a right to say what he wants, regardless of if we agree with it or not. I do not agree with half of the things I see on the internet, some of them make me want to smash my monitor with my fist, but people have a right to to say what they feel regardless of how their words affect me.
Question 7: His ‘Program’ is supporting rape and forced prostitution!
It took a bit of digging, as the rules are scattered throughout multiple comment sections on multiple articles, but these are the ones that I have found:
1.) The government would offer women money to go on blind dates.
2.) Women would freely apply to the program, as would Incel men.
3.) Every woman would have a limit of 30 dates.
4.) If she doesn’t find a suitable partner during those 30 days she will be fired to prevent scamming.
5.) Women who are fired would be banned from the program for at least 1 year.
6.) Women who complete their 30 dates with or without a partner would be paid in full.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way supporting this program; however, it stands to reason that if women are freely applying for the program that they aren’t being ‘forced’ into anything. I do agree that it appears to resemble prostitution, but in one of the comments sections on one of his many posts he did state that the women were not required to have sex with the thirty Incel men they went on dates with, they just had to show up and make an effort at being interested in the Incel guy they were set up with.
In other comments sections there were a few discussions regarding the possibility of psychological and STD screenings for the safety of both the women and the Incels who took part in the program, but neither of these (to my knowledge) were added into the ‘rules’ of the program.