The morning Sunlight crept idly through the dusky pained windows that illuminated the small kitchen, giving the entire room a dusty look. The only thing that betrayed the fact that the small cabin was in fact inhabited were the cleaned dishes in the drying rack and the freshly baked biscuits sitting on the counter for whenever the young man was ready to eat, and thank heavens, the freshly perked pot of coffee beside the microwave.
Jason smiled and poured himself a cup, adding plentiful helpings of sugar and cream before reaching for one of the still warm biscuits. The gesture was one of affection, certainly not something that he had expected after the past two weeks of hardship he had put upon her shoulders. He wondered if she had set out a small breakfast for him every morning just in case he had decided that he had the strength to finally crawl out of the bed and make it to the kitchen.
His stomach rumbled.
Or maybe she just knew that I would wake up and be ravenous today. He thought with a sly grin. She has a strange way of reading people.
Breaking open one of the biscuits and reaching for some butter and honey, he began to prepare himself the first thing he remembered eating in the past two weeks. He didn’t remember much after the first two days after arriving at the cabin with Surrine, everything was a haze between being violently sick and screaming in pain. But the worst is over now. Jason thought to himself. At least I hope that it is.
He sat down at the table, and tried not to eat the food to quickly, he didn’t think he could afford to throw up anything because he was impatient to fill his stomach. He was surprised to find that he felt full after eating only two of the biscuits, but decided not to push his stomach to holding more than it apparently thought was a good idea, so he sat at the table and calmly sipped his coffee while looking out the kitchen window, watching the birds jump along the tall grass that probably wouldn’t be cut because the house was located so far off the main road.
“GET OUT of the flower bed you DIRTY MUTT!” Came a horrified shriek from across the garden. Jason stretched his neck to see what the commotion was about when he saw its source and bit back the laughter that was prepared to burst out of him.
There she was, flapping her arms around like a chicken at the large Golden Retriever who was chasing a rabbit through her small garden, her hair was in a loose braid that fell down her back, and she was–of course–dressed in blue jeans and an old T-shirt, the same thing she always seemed to be wearing no matter what the weather was like. Finally when she had shooed both animals out of the garden she raised her arms up in exasperation and shook her head as if to say. ‘Why do I even bother?’
Smiling at the reminder that the force of nature he had come to know as Surrine was in fact only human, he prepared another cup of coffee and made his way to the porch, wondering if she would snip at him for being out of bed. She had a natural affinity for scolding and never seemed to miss an opportunity to fuss.
He had just reached the final stair when she noticed him and started walking in his direction. She had a playful grin on her face that could only mean trouble. Her smile only became wider when she noticed the second cup of coffee that he held in his hands.
“Sit down on the steps there.” She said with her usual cheerfulness. “I don’t want you moving around to much when you are only just starting to get your strength back again. Now that we have you back amongst us livin’ we don’t want you to slip away again.” He obeyed, mostly out of not wanting her to snarl at him if he didn’t and handed her the other cup, she thanked him and took a long swig of it before closing her eyes and smiling. Jason had never thought of drinking coffee as an sensual experience before that moment.
“So what were you doing out in the garden?” Jason asked swirling the contents of his mug around idly.
“Nothing much, just weeding. Doing mundane tasks helps me think about things.” She took another sip and looked at him. “You got a lot more color than I expected. With any luck you should be ready to head back home in a few days, if you think that you are ready anyway.” Jason shrugged and looked up at the sky, storm clouds where on the horizon, it wouldn’t be to long before they reached the cabin.
“What were you thinking about?” He asked, eager to change the subject. He didn’t want to think about heading home just yet, thinking to far ahead made it feel like everything was pressing down on him.
“Mostly rounded logic, keeps my brain busy and keeps it functional, although I think about plenty of other things as well.” She ran her finger around the lip of her mug. “I was thinking a lot about love.”
“Love?” Jason raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t seem much like you.” She glared at him and cleared her throat.
“You really don’t know me well enough to say that.” She said curtly, taking another sip and tugging at a loose thread on her jeans.
Not that I wouldn’t be interested in knowing. He thought to himself. “Well what about love?” Surrine was quiet for a moment before sighing.
“I don’t understand it.” she said finally, shaking her head. “Its just not something that I can wrap my head around.” When she turned and looked at his grinning face she only growled and bit her lip. “I’m not used to not being able to work things out in my head.” she said with frustration. He reached over and patted her on the shoulder, then realized how close his fingers were to her teeth, and pulled his hand back.
“Love is to complex to be able to understand. Its no big deal if you can’t wrap your head around it.” He looked up at the storm clouds and sighed. “Its just something that when you know you got it you just have to hold onto it with everything inside of yourself.” Surrine remained quiet for a moment before saying quietly.
“But how do you know when you have it, how can you understand what you are feeling when you are in love? If it can’t be explained or understood completely how can you be sure that what you are feeling is love? So many people say it affects them in different ways, some say they know its love because they can’t stop thinking about a person, others say that they cry when they aren’t around the object of their affection. Others say…” she trailed off and blushed.
“What do they say?” He had never noticed how small she looked before, how much those blue eyes that could contain so much intelligence and maturity could also seem so lost and alone. She held such a tough exterior so much of the time that he often forgot the fact that she was in fact younger than himself. “I won’t laugh, you can tell me.”
She worried the string on her pants some more before continuing. “Some people say that they hurt.” she raised her hand up to her heart. “They hurt here when the one they love isn’t there with them. But… is it possible for it to hurt when they are with you as well?”
“Yes.” he pulled her close to him and gave her a small hug. “Yes, it is possible for you to hurt when they are with you also.”
“It doesn’t make any sense at all, I just can’t stand it, there is no logic in it whatsoever.” She glared at the grass beneath her feet before letting out a sigh.
It has more logic in it than taking someone who is little more than a complete stranger into your home and helping them fight through one of the toughest battles of their life, just so they wouldn’t have to face their demons alone. He thought to himself.
He couldn’t remember much from the past two weeks, but he could remember Surrine rocking him and humming softly to calm his nerves when he was in pain but she had nothing that was safe to give him in his condition, he could remember her applying a cold cloth to his forehead until his fever broke and her fingers lightly brushing against his forehead as she pushed his hair away from his face. Then again, there are many different kinds of love I suppose.
They sat in the quiet for a few minutes until the first raindrops started to fall.
“You know.” Justin began. “I think that if love could be logical, then it wouldn’t really be love at all. To attempt to revert it into something that makes sense, something that we can understand completely, that would just make love loose its purpose in the first place.”
Surrine just stared out into the woods and watched the Golden Retriever as it continued to chase small creatures through the brush. When she finally turned to him, he could see the same determination and wisdom in her eyes that he was used to, but there was something more there, something deeper that made his heart skip and his breath hitch.
“I think you are right.” She said with a smile, reaching her hand out from under the covered porch to let the rain fall over her fingertips. “You know, you are welcome to stay here with me as long as you like.” she blushed slightly and smiled at him. “I could use the company, and at least you are capable of a decent conversation.” She turned and pulled open the screen door, letting it bang behind her as she hurried into the darkness of the cabin.
Jason just leaned against the frame of the porch and listened to the rainfall. Love can’t be logical. He thought to himself with a smile. He remained on the porch until Surrine started screaming about if he caught a chill she wasn’t going to baby him for yet another week.
Snippy woman. He thought with a smile. Casting one more look at the darkened cloud covered sky, he also disappeared into the cabin.
The rain just kept pouring down from the sky, its gift to the earth.
Love isn’t logical.